missing the way of happiness

this innocence is brilliance I hope that it will stay, this moment is perfect please don't go away, I need you now .. nd I hold onto it, don't you let it pass you by .. ( innocence - Avril Lavigne )

*these recent days , I always listen to this song, all day, when ever and where ever I am , I always singing this song. This song could give the best describe how I feel recently. and I know why I love this song , because I do missing the way of happiness , I do missing the way of Avril Lavigne has told me in this song ..

but unfortunately , that moment has gone. those happiness never come back to me again since we both -well, it was me- decided to went our own way. It doesn't mean that I regret all this stuff, no I never regret it ! but I just feel like, umm all my planning, all I ever thought before I decide to leave him , was all get me a ZERO result , I mean it doesn't work !!
I got nothing except some feelings of yellow-mellow-fellow-slow nd I hate being in this situation !! hahh.. why it should be happened to me ??
whoaaaa I miss him a lot lot lotsaa !! does he feel the same way to me ?? the moments I ever shared with him was soo beautiful nd makes me wanna cry .

But I could handle it , I could deal with this pain. nd I'm doing good so far - maybe. hhaha yea, as long as I hav a good time with my friends . hehehe. gosh ! my friends was just sooo great to me !! mmuuaahhh I love you friends !. but the love that they give wasn't the same as the love that he give to me. hhuhu..
Sometimes , I wondered , how if he had found someone else to shared ?? umm , I mean 'new' one ?? , what would I do ?? should I looking for a 'new' one too ?? , aaagh ! sometimes those stupidos idea come to my mind and bothering me . YEAAAA if its really really happen to him , I mean, he finds another 'new' one to share, all I have to do just go ahead and smile !!. Life must go on , whether he is care about me or not !! just face it with my cute silly grin . lol !
heyy saqy ! just look outside there ! there are a lotsa stock that you could get . hahaha .*tryin to cheer up myself !

nihh simak baik baik yaa lirik lagunya avril yang ini . well, if you were in such a happy or beautiful situation, pasti ngena banget deh . check this

(innocence - avril lavigne)
Waking up I see that everything is ok
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling
This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by
I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere
I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cryIt's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant,
It Makes you want to cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go awayCause
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it,
Don't you let it pass you by

but I've made him let it pass him by
once again I explicit you that , I DON'T EVER REGRET IT ! *i wish ..